Tantra is Not Sex – a story of Tantra Workshop in Hungary

Here we are – landing in Hungary to teach in the Everness Festival. The first two days we spent in Budapest – exploring the beauty of the city… vegan restaurants, long walks, and just resting after the roller coaster of the last weeks in Israel. We have an appointment with the transport to the festival, but the driver is late. On the way I find out that our Tantra WorkShop starts exactly on the hour when we are supposed to arrive… Breathing deep… we’ve been through the worse. After sorting out bureaucratic issues we get our festival bracelets and almost run to the WorkShop space. It is a huge, beautifully decorated tent. People are already waiting for us… Some are making sure it is not a lecture – they are here to Do, not to just listen. Some shyly ask if it’s for couples or everyone can enter …


Here I want to make a statement. Meeting Pepe and aligning with him in both everyday life and practice has been a mind blowing life experience! We were so in-tune from the very first encounter. We both deeply believe that the way Tantra is presented in the Western culture has hardly anything to do with the essence of the tradition. He calls it ‘California tantra’. I call it ‘a spiritual way to get laid’. And from my observation this whole business of Western Tantra is both harmful and … opening at the same time!


At this point I am putting my subjective opinion aside and just observe people coming out of popular Tantric Workshops and Retreats. There are always both sides.

On the one hand, Western Tantra brings people to a place of intimate meeting with themselves. It teaches to slow down, breathe, to look in each other’s eyes, not to follow animal instincts, and just simply Be with the partner and enjoy the energies created in this meeting. It is a highly precious experience within our hectic society, where sometimes it is easier to have random quick sex then to look deeply into the partner’s eyes and have a slow tenter touch.

On the other hand, ‘tantric’ processes may bring people into the illusion of being an aware, super lover, without deep energetic training and holistic development of the physical body. Very often I hear from singles who attend such events and get a random partner, that they come out completely confused, getting the impression that they met ‘the One’ – just after going through intimate practices and blissfully perceiving themselves in a collectively created and supported energy. This impression, in most cases, vanishes later after a few dates, and creates space for more misery and a heavy or broken heart.

The moment when two random people enter sacred intimate space is always unforgettable. It is highly important to be in full awareness about who you are letting into Your snuggly, embracing space. The energy of the partner influences, stays, and becomes part of you. Certainly, for the more empathic people, such experience can be even harmful and dangerous. I am very cautious about jumping into a one-sided conclusion. We are all different, and while some can have a new sexual partner every week without any problem, others can suffer for the rest of their life after one wrong choice-of-a-partner decision. The point is knowing YourSelf deeply and following inner truth. Unfortunately, this sounds easy but takes a lifetime to accomplish…

So, when we started teaching Tantra, it was clear for both of us that we are NOT taking it into a sexual direction. From my personal journey, it took me years of practice to get in touch with myself before jumping in what they call conscious sex.


Learning to breathe from the first chakra, exercising the physical body, going on a yoga journey, and finding balance in the field of nutrition, being empathic to my partner and entering the space of unity within and without … this is a neverending process. Of course, that state of Being has no limits, no borders, no concrete rules, and is to be cultivated on a daily basis…


…And all this we had to teach in just one and a half hour of a WorkShop! We did manage most of it and even more: after a very short introduction and yogic-chi qong warm up, we went on a chakra journey, breathing, visualising and sounding into each center, all accompanied by aromatherapy and the celestial sounds of Pepe’s kantele and other ethnic instruments.


Then we learned mudras that can activate each center, followed by vowels and physical exercises. We gave lots of precious tips and notes, which, if taken and practiced, can bring one to an absolutely different level within in terms of self development and relationship with partner and others.


After learing the sound of each chakra, we went into singing them one after another, slowly taking them into one even sound and moving into singing and dancing. Pepe started drumming and for some time we all went into ecstatic dance. That was a collective rise of kundalini, and in this created energy we slowly came into the deep breath and ended up with the beautiful practice of embracing each other by making two rows and letting each participant go through this human tunnel with closed eyes while everybody is gently touching, caressing, and sending love.

Thus, without any sexual connotation we gave a full range of tantric experience, presenting both theoretical and practical tools and encouraging people to go within and align with inner worlds prior to looking for perfect others. The reward was beyond expectation – people kept coming and thanking and sharing their experience through the whole festival. And, bottom line, this is what really counts and encourages!


For More moments from Budapest and Tantric WorkShop Welcome to Surf Here:


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